the Irresistible Revolution

So I am starting this new thing called reading... ha. I have begun reading two books in the last week. The first one is Sex God by Rob Bell which I am really liking so far. It talks about becoming more connected with our sexuality because our sexuality and spirituality are directly connected to each other. And that's the way God intended it to be. I am only a couple chapters in so I don't really have much else but there will be more to come as I continue reading. The other book that I just started to read today and have only gotten through the forward and the introduction and am just coming to the author's note before diving into chapter one is Irresistible Revolution by Shane Claiborne. He is a partner and founder of the Simple Way which is a community in Philidalphia who believe in doing little things with lots of love and hopefully changing the view that people have of Christians and the Church from one of judgement and hipocracy to one of acceptance and love. I think they've got something here... I am interested to continue reading and will be posting as I go with both of these books. As far as normal life goes, it's less than two months until the wedding and I think everything is falling into place quite smoothly. The only thing I'm kind of worried about is the fact that I still don't have my dress... I ordered it in January but it's still not here and won't get here for another three weeks... so that's something that's causing a tiny amount of stress. But other than that I am really enjoying my job and Andy and I found an apartment which we got approved for and passed the background checks and all of that so I got the call today saying that we were good to move in on the 15th. So Andy will be moving his things in that weekend and I will be setting things up with the things that we have recieved so far from my wedding shower and that will make for a lot less work by the time I move in after the wedding. Now we just need furniture. Ha. Well I'm off to bed cuz I have to get up at 4:30am to go to work tomorrow! Grace and Peace

... 3 months to go..... :)

So, the wedding is approaching.. It is less than 90 days away and I am not stressed out at all yet. Ha. I feel like for that reason the last week is going to kick my butt and everything is going to fall apart.. but that's just silly right? Who knows. But anyways I don't think the next 3 months can go by fast enough. I am so excited to be married to Andy and to start our new lives together. I know we have our conflicts, but they are so worth the relationship and the good out-ways the bad by a long shot so I can handle a little tiff every now and then. I just have a sense of peace about everything having to do with the wedding and I really hope it stays that way. I really owe a lot to my family and my wonderful fiance and his family for all of the work and effort that they have put into making Andy and my special day come together so smoothly. I plan on spending the next few months in prayer and reflection in order to prepare myself to share the rest of my life with Andy. So prayers from people while I do this would be appreciated. God bless!

Thank God!!

This week started with an interview that I wasn't even really sure I wanted to go to. The Good Samaritan Society nursing home that I was interviewing at is 25 minutes away from where I live, and 20 minutes away from where Andy, my future husband, and I will be living after July 3rd of this year. I wasn't sure if I would be offered enough hours or be getting enough money per hour to make that daily drive justifiable. My conditions for accepting the job were that the pay had to be at least $10 an hour and I would have to work at least 30 hours a week to make it work. So at meal group on Wednesday we discussed prayer requests at the end and mine was that I get a job that will be worth while and full-time would be fantastic. We all sat and prayed for each other and one woman in our group prayed for me asking that I get a job soon and that it would be one that I am excited about and that would meet my needs as well as the needs of Andy and me together. Well this morning I got a call from the G.S.S. nursing home and a woman named Rachel on the other line told me that they wanted to offer me a full-time job (72 hrs. every 2 weeks) at $10.40 per hr with benefits availible along with paid vacation and sick time (perfect for the 2 weeks I'll be needing for the Wedding and Honeymoon in July). I also was hoping that any job that I got would be a day-shift position so I would have time to spend with Andy in the afternoons and for after we're married, to be able to have supper ready and the appartment clean, all the good wifey stuff. And this job will be the day-shift from 6am (Yikes! But it's okay) to 2:30pm which will give me plenty of time in the afternoons to get done what I need to. Basically, this is my dream job right now and it is the perfect picture of what I wanted when I finished my C.N.A. training in January. I hung up the phone with Rachel and just started to cry. This is the perfect job for me and I was just so overwhelmed with thankfullness and relief and the presence of God in the whole situation. So I feel like this was truly an answer to prayer and I know it was a definite relief from the past 3 months of stress! But all that said I know that at the end of the day, God is good and will and does take care of us.

I know I should be happy... but...

This should be the happiest time of my life. I am engaged to an amazing man who has a passion for God and loves me with all of his heart. I love him too don't misinterpret where I'm going with this. But I feel like there are other things right now that are getting in the way of the joy that should be surrounding everything I do in this time of preparation, and anticipation. As we all are fully aware, the economy is not so great right now. Close friends and family members are losing their jobs and struggling to make ends meet and so far I've just been watching it all happen and keeping my fingers crossed that the hammer won't come down on me or anywhere too close for comfort. But these last few months have been a bit difficult. By no means am I really struggling, nor am I left with no where to go and no one to turn to for financial help, thank God for that, but I have been feeling very discouraged lately as I have been applying for jobs and been hearing nothing positive back except an interview I had last week that seems to have fallen through. Bottom line, things are not looking too hot on the job hunt front. (< Ha that rhymed) But with the wedding 4 months away and the need for a steady income becomes a bigger cloud hanging over my head, I have really had to try that much harder to keep looking at the glass half full. I know things are not as bad as they could be, but I want to stop feeling worthless at some point and get a start on my new life and the life that I will soon be sharing with the man I love. I know I should be happy... but it's hard sometimes.

Here's where my faith has to come in. I believe that God is good and that we have to go through difficult things sometimes, after all that's the whole purpose of faith right? And I have confidence that everything is going to work out just fine in the end. I know I'll find a job some day (hopefully soon) and I will get married in July and begin on a new road in a new life that is going to be incredibly exciting and amazing. So even though I may feel worthless right now and things may seem like they are crappy at the moment, I trust that God is faithful and He can carry us through whatever we are facing. It's pretty encouraging being able to see how He uses the relationships we have with each other to show us just how present His love is. Just more proof that we're all in this together and we need to be supportive of those in our community of believers and non-believers alike. Keep the chins up!